This Week’s Topic: PMS

Fortunately, Mike has more than 40 years experience dealing with physically mature women, and more than 30 episodes particular to me. Here’s how it went down.

 Saturday night, we were supposed to go to a nice Thai place for dinner. Mike arrived about 15 minutes early to find me in my robe, hair wet, and emotionally incoherent. I explained that I was fat, my clothes were hideous, and I was suitable for no place finer than the local Big Boy, and even then, only in a downscale neighborhood. He managed to hide his laughter. I then explained in fairly specific terms just how he should approach me once in a while, in order to reassure me of my attractiveness. While the directions were not pornographic, they should, done correctly, lead to pornographic encounters.

 Menopause can’t come soon enough.